From the Observation Deck

I don’t know what the heck the title of this post means but it sounds funny. When first read it seems silly. Just like the grownups running our government. Yes boys and girls it’s that time again. It’s trash the government time!

I just looooooove talking about waste. Especially government waste. And I don’t mean Congress (this time). I know it’s kind of cliché to complain about the stupidity of government. I mean, in a sense, that’s pretty much a wasteful activity in itself. But I’m going to do it anyway. Here are some examples I’ve seen in recent months.

The Office of Thrift Supervision

The other day I was in DC and drove past the Office of Thrift Supervision. After laughing at the sheer audacity of the government to create an office with the name “thrift” in it, I looked at the building and shook my head in amazement. There were at least five different signs that labeled the building the office of thrift supervision. Not exactly thrifty of them.  

The Census

Ahhhh, the census. I just got a letter in the mail telling me to be on the lookout for the census letter. Seriously? Is the government trying to keep the evil post office alive by supplying it with unnecessary mail? Why not just send the census. And then send another copy of it out if you feel that will help with response. Or how about doing this online?

Government Consultants

My company is currently working with a government entity. I’ll skip the headaches of the layers of people there and the lack of logic that runs rampant in their hallways. Anyway, I went with our designer and president to a meeting with them. After we got out I asked my president who the woman was in the meeting who wasn’t with the government entity. She told me this woman (and the guy on the phone) work for a company that was managing our relationship with the government entity. You’ve got to be kidding me. Like we can’t email and call the government entity directly and talk to them without a needless middle man? I want a job where I do nothing but get paid lots of dough for passing information back and forth.

Hiring Practices

Last summer I applied for a job with HUD. They interviewed 75 people. Really? They couldn’t skim the list a bit?

I could go on and on and on and on. Sorry for being repetitive. It may seem wasteful—except when used for emphasis. Or when I do it. I’m constantly shocked at the arrogance of our elected officials. The extras they get, the raises they give themselves when their constituents are losing their jobs, and their pride. They would rather put forth bad legislation than admit that they couldn’t find a solution. Got news for you Mr. President. I don’t want you shoving your crap at me just because you want to save face. You, Congress, and the fat, wasteful government machine need to rethink your purpose. You need a bold fresh start to policies and practices. A clean sweep. I know, you can start by creating the office of waste management. Oops. That’s already in place. It’s oval in shape, I believe.

Okay, that’s enough for now. I’m off to waste time watching TV.

To assemble four years from now.

I officially love the Canadians. At the opening ceremony of the Olympics there was a glitch in the torch lighting. So the Canadians made fun of it all by “fixing” it at the closing ceremony. Anyone who can laugh at themselves and turn human error into something funny to celebrate is good in my eyes. The Canadians have shown themselves to be… well… themselves. Good natured, fun, welcoming, lovely people. Thanks Canada for giving us such a wonderful two weeks. As my friends and neighbors have been saying. “We’ve so enjoyed watching the Olympics. Even more than usual. We’re going to miss watching it.”

Before the games started some people were wondering how they were going to top the spectacle the Chinese gave us. Well, as marvelous as that show was, I guess it goes to show that people everywhere are beautiful and talented. We can appreciate people for many different reasons.

And we can appreciate the Canadians for their sense of humor. Seriously, who else but the Canadians would have giant inflatable beavers and moose? And how about the old table-top hockey game with magnets—awesome. It was campy and perfect and the fake antlers for the audience was icing on the cake.

The Olympics give us a look at various cultures around the world. And it’s always lovely. The Olympics is like Christmas in a way. You get that feeling of peace and goodwill. Here we are—humans from different backgrounds, religions, beliefs—all competing peacefully. It shows that we can all get together and appreciate each other and compete without guns and violence. It’s beautiful and it’s one of the many reasons I love the Olympics.

With glowing hearts. That’s what it’s all about.

Congratulations to all the athletes, coaches, parents, trainers, volunteers, officials, and everyone who took part in putting the show on. You did a great job and should be proud of yourselves. Can’t wait ‘til the 2012 games in London!

There is so much about the Olympics that is fun to watch. Tonight I’m giddy because I’m watching the men’s snowboarding halfpipe competition. The star of this sport is a cute, smiling, good-natured red head named Shaun White. He is quintessential American Rockies ski bum. For the past few years he’s been inventing new jumps by practicing on a halfpipe where he can land in a big pile of foam blocks.

Before the competition he was interviewed and was so excited to unveil the moves. He smiled at the camera and said, “You guys are in for a treat.” And there was nothing arrogant about it. He loves what he does and you can see the joy in his smile.

The other guys (and gals for that matter) are also fun to watch. I’m so glad the Olympics added this sport. And the freestyle skiing, too. That one is a thrill to watch as well.

And if you’re watching the games and think that snowboarding looks easy, I want to tell you it’s harder than it looks. My nieces thought it was challenging on basically a flat hill. And they are athletes! Julia ended the day with a fractured wrist. Thank goodness there was no pipeline where we went!

The absolute joy that I get when I see Zenia doing the face plant just makes my day. Of course I realized later that I should have had both of them in helmuts and protective gear, but where’s the fun in that?

I’ve started watching a new show. It’s called Undercover Boss. CEOs go undercover in their own companies to get a better idea of what is happening on the front line. It’s a great concept. CEOs have to be big picture people with vision. But too often senior management loses perspective. Sometimes the details do matter. Sometimes they need to remember that their employees are people who can give a lot to their companies but need encouragement and the feeling that someone cares about them. So, let me describe some of what happened in the first episode.

This guy from Waste Management went out into the field. One guy fired him for being too slow at picking up trash. Another guy is someone I would like to see every day because he’s the kind of guy who loves life. This guy cleans port-a-potties for a living. As he was taking the CEO out to a job he says, “We’re like hunters. It’s not a job, it’s an adventure.”  

On another job, the CEO went out with a woman who was on a trash pick-up route who had to pee in a can when she had to go. It just goes to show that sometimes there are policies put into place to cut costs or increase efficiency that can leave out the human element. I’ve had crappy jobs but I can’t imagine having to deal with that.  

Now it’s easy to watch a show like this and take the side of the workers. It’s a case of corporate vs. front line. But what happens a lot is that there are usually good solid reasons for implementing policies. I’ve worked in places where employees take advantage when there is no accountability. And I’ve worked in a place where there has been too much oversight. It’s about trust, hiring the right people, training, and most importantly, communication. Communicating with the employees before the policies go into effect and communicating the reasons and details after. And then encouraging feedback.

Communication is key to relationships. With employees, supervisors, and with customers. I was amazed that some of these waste management employees were friends with their customers. It makes you think about all the people we interact with each day. And how many people touch our lives and brighten our days.

But the most important thing to remember is if you have to clean up toilets at any point in your life, just think of it as a “Battlefield of Poo,” and do your job well and with pride.

I grew up in Pennsylvania where during the winter it snowed. Not only that but it snowed on back country roads and the schools didn’t shut down for a mere couple of inches. But here in northern Virginia, the massive traffic, lack of resources, and crazy people make for a dangerous mix when snow comes. There’s always a panic—which I think comes from the mind-set of the type of people who live here. It’s fast-paced, high-drama, and with all the politicians, things tend to be exaggerated in general.

So with two storms topping a couple feet each, we are talking about snowpocalypse. Snowmegeddin. The blizzard of 2010. I don’t know what they’re going to call the storms coming later this week, but we’re becoming pros at this.

All this snow brings about a change in our routines. Some good and some not so good. My back is killing me but the exercise is good. Grendel and his buddies love to play in it. So do the kids and my neighbors John and Bob, and well okay, me, too. I went over to the guys’ houses this weekend to ask their wives if they could come out and play. Bob ended up with a big bruise on his arm from snowboarding and John got the dogs riled up.

I wanted to build a big, creative snowman but my muscles were aching and so the snow artist in me settled for a smaller one with some of the items lying about in my house. I love, love, love, love snow. It’s beautiful. You can play in it. When it’s falling it feels so peaceful. So I don’t even mind the crap that comes along with it.

These big snows have a way of forcing us outside where we end up talking to neighbors. During shoveling breaks we catch up, joke, and complain about the snowplow guy who just pushed five feet of snow in front of our cars and the mailbox. Then we make bets on how fast it will take “certain neighbors” to steal our spots. We pull together and take care of each other. I actually got to fulfill a cliché by asking my neighbor for some sugar. It wasn’t a cup and it was brown sugar, but still. And my other neighbor gave me some brownie mix and cookies. If you’re going to be stuck with people for a few days, it’s good to have nice neighbors who like to have fun. And who help you shovel.

Happy snow day!

Superbowl Snowman

Wahooooo!

John and Grendel

Cat watches and tries to catch (from behind the door) icicles falling from roof.

So I’m going to maybe offend some people here so let me preface this by saying that I know most of the individuals of Chinese descent are not involved in the development of products—this tirade is directed solely to those responsible. And since I can’t name names I’m just going to generalize. Are we okay? Okay.

So what is with the Chinese? Their products stink. I have a conspiracy theory that they are trying to get rid of us not through the conventional terrorist type ways but slowly by poisoning the products they make for us or causing toys or other such products to be hazardous to our health.

Shame on you China. Your ancestors would not be proud. You remember those people who built a wall so long, so big, and so strong it has lasted thousands of years and can be seen from space? Good thing they didn’t make it with your drywall.

So why are we putting up with this? They are sneaking in while we focus all our attention on religious zealots. Let’s stop worrying about taking our shoes off in the security line and concentrate on the threat from way over the big mountains.

But come to think about it, maybe we won’t have to worry too much. Turns out their backward practice of killing baby girls is—wait for it—causing a shortage of women! Maybe they’ll spend more time thinking about how they can solve the single guy problem and less time making crappy products.

Just a thought.

So this past week I was reading some headlines on an Internet site and thought it would be funny to talk about these current events. Or at least the splashy way these stories were announced to the public. In case you haven’t heard, here are six must-read stories for your reading pleasure (and naturally my take on them).

Want to Buy a Space Shuttle? NASA Slashes Price to $29 Million
Daaaaaddeeeee! I want, I want, I want one! Get me one for my birthday! All the other kids are getting them! If you love me you’ll buy me a space rocket. Seriously, I dream of the day when I can see the Earth from outer space. How cool would that be?

Cookie Dough Shortage in our Future?
Say it ain’t so! Every once and awhile I hear about produce shortages when it gets cold in Florida, but cookie dough? Bummer.

French Minister Criticizes US Over Haiti Aid
Is this really news? Is there anyone on the planet that is surprised that a French person is criticizing an American? I say let them in. Something tells me the French version of an MRE (meal ready to eat) resembles buttered crepes and wine. Yum.

 Most Americans Back Medical Marijuana—Americans are firmly divided on health care reform. But a surprisingly large majority agrees that if you’re sick, you should be allowed to smoke dope.
And these people vote. What more can I say?

A Trailer Park In The Sky
It’s hard to reconcile the terms trailer park and luxury. I guess it’s the old, “don’t judge a book by its cover” cliché.

‘Star Trek’ Star Chris Pine, Olivia Munn Call It Quits
This caught my eye because it’s so sad when relationships don’t work out. Okay, I’m lying. Chris Pine is so cute I can’t help but be happy he’s back on the market. As unrealistic as a future with him is, a gal has to dream.

And aside from what’s really important, those are the things occupying the time of Americans everywhere. I’m Dawn and this has been an original post. Goodnight and keep reading!

The other day I got a ticket. First one in 15 years. I can’t say I didn’t deserve it and considering all the times I got away with stuff, I guess I was due. But there was something about this experience that was just plain wrong.

Here’s how it went down. A nice, young, good looking police officer pulls me over and says I entered an area where only the metro buses can go. I guess I got confused with all the other cars there. So I go wading through the paperwork that has piled up in my glove compartment looking for the most recent version of my registration. He says to give him a shout when I find it. Ten minutes later I hand him an expired slip, tell him it really is all up to date—I just filed the paperwork at home. He says okay.

This next part is new to me. He says, “What color eyes do you have?” To which I turned and smiled up at him and replied, “They’re brown.” Then he did it. He asked me how much I weighed. I paused. Then in total shock said, “What? Are you serious? Not-uh.” He looked ashamed (as he should) and said he had to ask. I then replied, “Reeeeaaally?” The tone of that last statement was part disbelief and part pleading. So I swallowed any remaining ounce of self-worth I had and answered him. And in three months if I try really hard, I might just lose enough to be at the number I told him.

Just now as I’m writing this, I have the horrid realization that not only did I have to tell a complete stranger—a man—what my weight was, but he WROTE IT DOWN. It’s now in triplicate filed away in some courthouse for the world to see. Holy crap.

As you can probably tell, I’m more upset about the whole weight question then getting the ticket. And I’m not sure how much that’ll cost me yet, so I think it’s time for a xanax and relaxing bath.

The incident ended with me getting “off” for not having my registration paperwork in the car but I did get the other ticket which was for “disobeying a sign.” It’s not like the sign stood in front of me pointing its finger saying, “Dawn, I’m warning you, don’t go in there or officer X is going to give you a ticket!” I didn’t stick out my tongue and willfully go by it on purpose. It was a mistake. And now I feel like some little kid who’s being punished. I thanked the officer and then said, “Wait, not thank you, I mean…” He smiled and said, “I know what you mean, it’s okay.” Hmmph. Maybe for him. Oh well, at least I didn’t drive through a mall.

When I got laid off last year I stopped watching the news because it was too depressing. I couldn’t stand to see the unemployment rate go up. And now that I’m back to work I haven’t had the time to catch up on what’s been going on. I used to be astounded at people who were completely unaware of current events.

I’m ashamed about how I’ve been living in the Dawn bubble and thinking about ways to spend my money while so many are suffering. People all over the world suffer every day but the situation in Haiti is so much worse than what I imagined. I avoided the news because it seemed to be just another natural disaster that happens frequently in our world. And maybe I didn’t want to face such depressing news.

But on Saturday I heard someone on the radio mention a death toll in the hundreds of thousands. That blew me away. And at the beginning of the weekend church service when we gathered in small groups to pray for the people in Haiti, I realized just how out-of-the-loop I was and the enormous magnitude of this tragedy.

So I apologize for recent posts in which I discussed such material things. It’s not that I don’t think people should be happy and be able to purchase things and travel, it’s just that it’s a bit tacky to be discussing them just days into such a tragedy. With that in mind, I’m going to seek out some ways to help the victims and pray for the rescuers to be able to get to the people and save as many as possible.

If anyone has suggestions on how to help or stories about how others or you have helped, please share them!

The Christmas tree is coming down. I hate to say goodbye to the beautiful lights and neat decorations. But, if we kept them up all year it wouldn’t be special. And people might think I’m weird.

It was a great holiday season. I really had a wonderful time with my family. I know not everyone gets along with their families and some are missing family members that are far away or no longer with us. If you’re one of those, I just hope you were (and in the future are) able to find people to share the time with and to enjoy Christmas and the New Year.

My decorations are coming down but at least I can walk around my neighborhood and enjoy the lights of those who refuse to go out without a fight. You know, those neighbors who keep their lights going through the better part of the winter (and some to the edge of spring). You go people.

My cats are a little upset. Their inside forest is going away. But at least they have a few more days to sit on the storage boxes and lick the masking tape. I don’t know why I spend money on expensive cat toys when all I need to give them is a strip of tape and rubber bands to make them happy.

So now it’s time to get back on the diet, fight the urge to eat sugar cookies, and snuggle in for a new season of Lost, American Idol, and more. Maybe I should TiVo it all and go write a book. Or volunteer somewhere. Or run a marathon. Or. Oh forget it. I hate resolutions. Do it or not. But whatever you do, have a happy 2010!