So last weekend I attended an HOA meeting for my beach house community. Honestly these people are the epitome of the crazy, motion-happy, spend-happy, too-much-time-on-their-hands dysfunctional community. You’ve probably heard the HOA horror stories and I’m here to tell you that these crazy things actually happen. Many communities are healthy but this is not one of them. I don’t know how many times there were endless comments made about a motion and then after 15 minutes one of these bozos would say, “What’s the motion?”

It’s sad really because I am so frustrated by the ridiculousness of these people I cannot and will not attend any more of these meetings. Yes, I am giving up on democracy as it relates to this HOA. Seriously, how long do you think a conversation about a ramp that some crazy bat wants built should take? Five years and two hours? Yup. The construction contractor came and was so frustrated he was about to fire us as a customer. I wish he would have. Then maybe I wouldn’t have had to sit through 26 minutes of the slope ratio and drainage discussion.

So enough. Next year I’m abstaining and enjoying the beach—before the board makes us pay a toll to cross the dunes. Some of you may be saying, well then get involved if you want to change it. I saw another guy try that. He’s a good guy, reasonable, well-liked, and did a good job. These people drove him to quit. So I’ll keep my sanity and let them squabble over the size of the trees near the gate that costs thousands of dollars and gets left open all winter. I will say one more thing. If they tell me I can’t take my afternoon daiquiri on to the beach, I will lead a rebellion and it won’t be pretty. So there. All in favor? Aye!