I am Santa Lab. And here is my Christmas list for my mom. I let her put this thing on me because, you know, she’s my mom. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories about her. Anyway, this is what I want for Christmas.

  1. Bonesanta lab
  2. Bone with marrow
  3. Peanut-flavored bone
  4. Chew toy shaped like the cat. You know…the one who hides behind the post and then slaps me when I come up the stairs..yeah that one.
  5. Uhmmm
  6. Bone
  7. New home for aforementioned cat.
  8. Meat flavored treats
  9. Actual meat
  10. Bone

Mommy asked the cat what she wanted and this is how it went.

Mommy: Hey kitty, can you make out a list of what you want for Christmas?

Cat: First. No. I can’t. I can’t write and you know that. And I wouldn’t, even if I could. Why should I wait for some stinkin holiday to get treats from you? You know I can just jump on top of the fridge and knock over the can myself. But then that stupid dumb dog you brought home would just eat it all. You want to know what I want? Get rid of it. He stinks, he’s always knocking things over with that stupid happy tail, and he takes up all the room on the couch. Now stop bothering me during my mid evening nap. When I want you to pet me I’ll come within three feet of you and you can reach out arms length and rub my chin. Now be a good human and fetch me some cat nip, some paper to rip up, a glass of your latest filtered water, and the choice cuts of meat that dumb dog wanted on his list.

Mommy: I know you love me.

Cat: Only because I let you think that.

Well that’s the pre-holiday planning in our house. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

santa g2