holiday


As a continuation of the Canterbury Tails series, I thought I’d tell you about Chris, the A/C guy. It seems as if all the contractors, delivery and installment personnel, electricians, cable guys, and plumbers in lower Delaware like to hang out and chat with customers after they’ve completed their job. Or it may just be the view of the ocean that makes people pause. In any case, after Chris got done with his task he and my Mom and I started talking about vacations. I want to share Chris’s story with you in case you were thinking about visiting any animal parks this summer.

So Chris tells us that he took his wife and two young sons to the Shenandoah Valley. His description of their tour through the Virginia Safari Park had us in tears. I can’t do justice to his telling of the story but if you’re thinking about this sort of adventure, here’s what Chris said. “When the wife told me to move the car along faster, that was my cue to slam on the brakes and let the animals come over to the car.” First mistake Chris.

Now the next part involves feeding the animals. I need to take a moment here to say that whoever came up with this idea is either the laziest guy in the world or the cleverest (or both). If you would have told me that we could actually get people to pay for a bucket of feed and then feed the animals themselves, I would have called you an idiot. It seems that we are the idiots because we have all fallen for it. The owner of the park now gets the food paid for by the customers and the guy who has to feed the animals gets someone else to do his dirty work. Genius.

Now back to the story. Chris said, “All the animals in the park knew what the white buckets were.” Yeah, I would think they would. He continued, “There was this big yak sticking his head deep into the car. When I started to move the car forward he just kept on walking with us with his head in the car. So finally I threw the bucket out the window and made a break for it.” Nice. And now he’s left with yak slobber all over his steering wheel and the smell of camel breath in the car that will take weeks to get out.

So what are your plans for this summer? Any safari takers out there?

By the way, this is a true story and this video is not of Chris and his family. So it would seem that this happens quite often to unsuspecting tourists. Now you know. Good luck.

Unless you’re unemployed and don’t pay attention to a calendar anymore, you know it’s May 1. What holiday could possibly be on May 1 you ask? Well carry on dear reader and enjoy—it seems there’s something for everyone on this day.

 Loyalty Day

Huh? Yup, you heard me. This little gem started as a reactionary political maneuver during the days of America’s ultra-paranoid ‘50s decade. Does anyone remember McCarthyism? Now that I’ve given due criticism to its beginnings, I will praise the day and say I am proud to be American and I salute those who have given their lives as well as the active and retired military personnel who have stood tall so that I could feel safe. Thank you!

 Save the Rhino

I don’t even know what to say—but you can actually make a donation if you wish. We should have a “help Grendel’s mother pay for his next vet visit” day. Okay, seriously, after watching the MOST AWESOME (emphasis added for a reason) Planet Earth series, I have to say that saving all of the animals on our planet is a worthwhile endeavor.

 Mother Goose Day

This one was founded by author Gloria T. Delamar when she published her book, Mother Goose; From Nursery to Literature. I salute this woman for her pure marketing genius. Either that or she has an ego the size of a shoe house.

 Beltane

Back when I was in elementary school, we had a May Fair complete with a May Queen and court and a maypole. Yup, the teachers taught us how to do a little dance back and forth resulting in a pretty ribbon thing around a pole. Did they realize they were teaching their younglings a pagan ritual? Another pagan ritual associated with this day is leaping over bonfires. I admit there was some of that going on in college—and it had nothing to do with this holiday. The southern hemisphere celebrates Samhain and it’s said that if clothes are left outside overnight, they will take on bewitching powers for all who wear them. (I could write a whole post just on that.) I think we all just like to get a little silly when the weather changes. Period.

 Lei Day

Once it was decided that May 1 was going to be the date for the new holiday—Lei Day (pronounced Lay Day)—some genius came up with the slogan Lei Day is May Day. Wow. I’m so blown away. They even have a beauty pageant to go along with the day. I shouldn’t be too critical. After all, my high school shut down for two days every October for a farm show which included the Harvest Queen pageant.

 Law Day

Honestly, could you care less about a holiday that pays tribute to what lawyers do? A language created by elitists and blah, blah, insert cranky whiny lawyer joke here. Okay, enough lawyer badgering. There are actually some events during Law Day in various states that could really help people. (And they’re FREE.) I hate it when lawyers do something I can’t criticize them for.

 Labor Day

Many countries celebrate their Labor Days on May 1. We Americans like to schedule these types of things to coincide with long weekends during peak summer times. Needless to say fewer people will be “celebrating” this day this year. And you have to love the Russians. They take two whole days to celebrate this holiday.

 Happy May Day! Take your allergy meds and smile—summer is around the corner.

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