From the Observation Deck

Every driver has on occasion seen a dead animal lying in the road. Some of you may even find it sporting to try to hit the fast-moving and indecisive squirrel (I am not among those of you that do). This last week I noticed an unusually large number of dead animals of various species lying on the road. And on my way home from Delaware the other day I counted six—yes six—dead deer. 

I’m the type of person that looks for patterns. It helps me figure out how to better market products and services when I can see patterns in buying behavior. I’m also a fan of Lost and Fringe if that gives you any idea of how my mind works. So the abundance of road kill made me think it would be a good idea to research this “multitude of dead deer on the road” phenomenon and see if the pattern of fur-lined concrete was a sign of something or just bad luck on the part of our four-legged friends.

At first I thought maybe it had to do with budget cuts in the state governments and therefore not enough workers to pick up the carcasses. If that’s true then we need some of those Michiganians to come down and pick up dinner for the family. (They do that up there, ya know.) But then I found an article on WTOP’s web site that stated, “As deer become more active during the breeding season that runs from October to mid-December, they begin to cross roads more often.” Kind of a weird coincidence that it’s breeding season and cars are killing off the population. Maybe it’s the deer version of the Darwin Awards. The deer that cross route 50 without looking are the dumb ones that are weeded out of the gene pool.

So I don’t know what to tell you except try to avoid big carcasses in the road, look out for the glowing eyes when it’s dark, know that they travel in packs, and if you’re in Delaware, “animals killed on state maintained roads should be reported to the Dead Animal Crew for their removal.” Hmmmm. Possible new career choice—dead animal crew. There seems to be lots of work to be done in that area.

And just for fun, if you’ve never seen the movie Tommy Boy, here is a clip that makes me laugh every time I see it. Unfortunatley the editor cut out the best part when Chris Farley says, “I swear I’ve seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that…was…awesome.”

Do you ever find yourself thinking; man I’m having such a bad day? Or this has been such a bad week? I do. Especially now that I’m out of work. I know that most of the world is living harder than I am and God has blessed me and provided for me. But still, sometimes it’s hard to not feel sorry for myself.

The other day, just as I was having a little pity party, I saw some poor schmuck walking along the side of the highway. Over his shoulder he was carrying the tailgate of his pickup truck that had fallen off down the road. That’s the kind of thing that makes you say, thank God I’m not that dude.

A bad day about to get worse

And as I was searching for something enlightening to share with you regarding bad days, I found a web site that shows us that even those rich, beautiful stars have bad days, too. So next time you look in the mirror and are upset about loose skin, extra weight, limp hair (or no hair), then take a look at this and know that if you had someone doing your makeup, hair, and wardrobe everyday, you’d look fit for the screen, too.

And if you’re not around a computer you could just thank God that part of your car is not lying on route 50. So just hang on ‘till tomorrow—and remember, life is good.

Life is good. Especially with a Grendel dog to share it with.

Just some quick thoughts before I head off to the shores of the Chesapeake Bay to play with my friends at Camp Tockwogh for the weekend. Yesterday I took my camp friend, Bob, home from the hospital and saw the house he just bought for the first time. They were nice digs and I’m happy for Bob and Emily. The funny part of this little excursion to the western edges of the beltway was the scene in their neighbor’s front yard.

In ordinary circumstances, this would be a perfect set-up to make fun of my good-humored friend. But here’s what I’m going to say instead.

For any of you who have ever been mad or upset about your homeowner’s association board, the rules of the HOA, the citations they hand out, etc., I just want you to take a look at the picture below and think about it for just…one…minute.

When you’re done, think about how the valuation of your home would be affected if you had a lot of neighbors like this. Personally, I think it would be worth it to shave a bit off the home value just to be able to have something to laugh about all year round. Because yes folks, this display stays out all year long. Evidently the main character stays in the yard but the scene around him changes with the seasons.

So say hello to your neighbors once in awhile and thank them for being normal and helping to keep your house standing in good condition (or not depending on your personality).

Pig in the yard