Do you ever watch those stories on the news about weird or tragic events or stories about crazy people causing a lot of chaos and wonder if you’ll ever be caught in the middle of one? I lead a pretty unassuming kind of life so I feel like I’m usually standing on the outside looking in at those events.

Well today as I hopped onboard the DC Metro train I thought I’d look around to find out what people left on the floor and seats and see if that would make a good story. (Last week I saw a stocking and some other random items and started getting curious.) But as luck would have it I was inspired not by the discarded items of my fellow commuters but by a crazy woman.

Now don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand it when people get on the train (or plane, bus, etc.) and play their music so loud that I can hear it. In fact just last month I was about to reach over and ask a gentleman to turn down his iPod until I heard that he was listening to that song, Land Down Under. The song choice was so not what I expected that I just laughed and tapped my toes. But I digress.

The guy who got on the train today was playing something (the people around me said it wasn’t music it was noise) loudly and the whole car could hear it. As much as I didn’t like that I also didn’t appreciate the lady sitting next to me who screamed over the aisle to tell him to “Turn that s*&t down.” A moment later we were subjected to listening to her yell at him again. I’m certain he did not hear or see her. When she told him that he had 60 seconds before she would stop the train, I proceeded to get into my tackle position. You see, I was on my way to an interview and there was no way I was going to let her stop me from getting there on time.

I’m not sure she heard me when I told her, “You’re not going to stop this train.” But the guys next to me heard me and I could tell they were going to support their new favorite quarterback if the situation arose. Thank goodness the offending iPod blaster got off at the next stop because I was starting to envision the evening’s news clip. “Desperate Job Seeker Tackles Crazy Cursing Woman on Metro.” She must not have been from around here because everyone knows you don’t mess with DC commuter traffic. Anyway, next time I’ll get the scoop on those stockings.

Every time I think of a Gideon’s Bible I think of that song Rocky Raccoon. I’m up late right now and can’t sleep. That’s really nothing new these days, except I’m staying at a hotel and trying to get over a bad cold. I miss having my pets around and I hate the noise that comes with staying in a hotel, but there can be some upsides. I treated myself to some in-room dining. The cold kept me from venturing out and frankly it’s nice to make a phone call and a few minutes later have a nice meal appear at your door. Okay, that’s just like ordering pizza or Chinese food, I know, but it feels different. Better. And I’m also really enjoying the mirror on the closet door. I don’t normally like looking in the mirror, but this one is two mirrors with a divider down the center where the door folds. When I stand in front of the center of this mirror/door, half of my body disappears. I’m thin again. Wow, I look great.

Okay, bored with that and still not sleeping. I’ve had a really tough time lately with the whole unemployment thing plus some other stuff that has basically added up to some serious frustrations and me being a not-so-nice person. The reason I’m boring you with that complaint will become evident with the remainder of the story, so hold on and keep reading. I thought a few months ago I was doing pretty well with the “waiting on God” thing and being patient as His plan took place. Lately I’ve had some serious arguments (one-sided of course) with Him about his lack of haste. In any case, I have always enjoyed God’s sense of humor and the fun ways he likes to inject himself into my life. Like dropping hints and reminders to me through various means. This latest one was interesting and it made me think of a neat experiment we could all take part in.

So back to the sleeplessness in the hotel room. How to calm down and drift off? TV, done. Mirror image thing, done. Bath, done. Read through some passages of the Bible placed by the Gideons in the drawer next to the bed? Yup, good idea. It may help me calm down and sleep and I’ll earn brownie points with God so maybe he’ll get a move on with the job thing and the other stuff that’s pissing me off. As I looked for some uplifting passages I noticed a page that was dog-eared. And when I looked over that page, I started wondering about the visitor to this room that dog-eared that page. Looking more closely, I saw a pencil mark noting a specific passage. Hmmmmm. This started my imagination going. Who was it? What was this person going through that made them pick up the Gideon’s Bible in the night stand and circle this passage? Someone struggling with their marriage? Someone struggling with doing something right or wrong? (Remember, I was in a hotel room suffering from sleep deprivation late at night.) Was it someone who was going to give a speech at a seminar and needed inspiration? I skimmed some more and found more dog-eared pages with more passages circled. And what was funny was that these passages were perfect reminders for me. Thanks God. I know you did this. Good one. Here were two of the passages that the traveler left for me.

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Mathew 19:26
But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, with men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

Here is an idea I’d like to put out to all you dear readers. Next time you’re in a hotel room, look through the Gideon’s Bible in the night stand and see if some pages are dog-eared and some passages are marked. And maybe make some of your own to give hope to the next weary traveler. At the very least you may inspire their imagination about who stayed in that room and what was happening in their life when they marked those passages…something to dream about. Good night.

I’ve come across a lot of random job postings under the search for marketing positions. For example, parking director, space management specialist—that’s cubicle stuff, and drywall inspector. I’ve even had some suspicious offers over the phone. But this e-mail that I received the other day has to take the cake.

Have you ever done one of those puzzles in a magazine where you have to pick out the 10 or more things that are wrong in a picture? Well I’ve got an e-mail for you to read and you can play the game of finding all the wrong things about it. It’s so pathetic I don’t even have to give you the answers.

So without further ado, here is the content of said e-mail exactly as it was sent to me.

Hello competitor,

We are glad to report you that in our stable company, the vacancy of transaction manager is opened. The world is smashed by a crisis, people lose their workplaces, and many companies are being closed. Our company offers a product in the field of services; therefore the demand on our suggestions remains even in so difficult period for the world economy.

The followings factors are required from you:
– industriousness;
– efficiency;
– to be the habitant of the USA;
– command aspiring to success;
– to have sure vital position;
– to have initial PC skills
– you must be more senior than 21.

NO INVESTMENTS FROM YOU ARE REQUIRED, you will be fully acquainted and trained for discharging of your duties. We need valuable staff. We will teach even a janitor to be a businessman!

Do not lose the chance of fully legal earnings with a dynamically developing company. We will help you to build a career which you always dreamed about. Your chance is waiting for you.

We wait for your resumes to the address imbibeNgGriffin@gmail.com of our department of personnel.

With kind regards,



Well Mr. or Ms. imbibeNgGriffin, I thank you for the kind offer—whatever it is that you are so not eloquently trying to communicate—but I’m not sure I have command aspiring to success. So I guess I don’t qualify. Good luck finding the habitant of the USA that has sure vital position.

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