When I was in high school, my English Lit teacher made us pick a song and analyze the lyrics. He was a great teacher and this was one example of what he did to make class interesting while getting us to think about what an author was trying convey through his/her story. When we read stories we get to know the characters—what kind of people they are, what makes them tick, if they are “worthy” of our sympathy or hatred (any kind of feeling is better than total disregard), and if their behavior is in accordance with their personalities.

So let’s do an exercise here. Let’s analyze the following statements, lyrics, lines from a book, quotes, whatever. And if you want to give your two cents on what you think they mean, then please reply. Otherwise I will assume you are taking my point of view on everything and I can begin my conquest to rule the world. 

  • “When you have to eat poo, you don’t want to nibble on it.” —Unknown client

I don’t know about you, but I think this is pretty straightforward. If you are dealing with something very unpleasant (let’s say swallowing your pride or eating feces) it is better to get it over with than to have it go on and on causing suffering over a long period of time. Another way of thinking about it is the old, “rip the band-aid off quickly” scenario.

  •  “It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m actually quite busy.” —Facebook Friend

Ha, ha. As you probably know, our bodies are made up of a gazillion tiny particles that we cannot see with the naked eye. They are in constant motion moving blood, oxygen, nutrients, waste, and electrical signals to various parts of the body. So, when I’m dozing on my couch watching the latest episode of Big Bang Theory, don’t bother me, my body is feverishly digesting the left over Halloween candy I just ate.

  • “When you live alone you can run around your house naked with clothespins on your nipples.” –Fast Ed

Do you really want an explanation? If you know Ed, you don’t need one. If you don’t, you’re missing out. I’ll just say it was in response to a friend who was feeling down because he was going to have to live by himself for awhile. And to all the women out there who have gone through breast cancer treatments and can’t partake in this activity (why you would want to is not up for discussion here), Ed has been told of your plight by our good friend Amy who is a cancer survivor, and he pledges not to say it again.

  • “Louie Louie, me gotta go; Louie Louie, me gotta go” –Richard Berry

The main character in this famous ballad is a sailor who is telling his friend he has to go. (There is a girl he wants to go home to see.) Not everything has to be in the style of Shakespeare to be meaningful.

  • “You may be right. I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for.” –Billy Joel

These words were uttered by my last boyfriend. He was wrong. I was not, nor am I now, seeking a lunatic to share my life with. Someone this side of bipolar would be fine with me.

  • “Don’t gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold…” –Bob Marley

Bob, Bob, Bob. You awesome baked-off-your-heiny visionary. A brilliant songwriter for sure, but I think some of his words were inspired by the Bible. For example, Mathew 16:26 says, “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” Do you really want to give away your essence, your freedom, your eternity, for meaningless things that you can’t take with you? Bob and I think it taint wort it, mon.

  • “Let us put men and women together, see which one is smarter. Some say men, but I say no, women run the men like a puppet show.” –Harry Belafonte

I don’t see why I need to interpret this for anyone. It’s just plain truth, put right out there for anyone to see and agree with. Oh yeah. That’s right. It’s the people that say it, not me.

  • “Hey now. Aiko Aiko one day. Jackomo fino anane.” –James “Sugar Boy” Crawford

No one—not even the author—knows what this means. So, let’s just put it down to some musical creativity, Cajun style.

I’m going to leave you with a song for the season to ponder.

Five little pumpkins sitting on a gate

Five little pumpkins sitting on a gate;
The first one said, “Oh my it’s getting late.”
The second one said, “There are witches in the air.”
The third one said, “But I don’t care.”
The fourth one said, “I’m ready for some fun!”
The fifth one said, “Let’s run and run and run.”
“ Wooooooo” went the wind,
And out went the lights.
And the five little pumpkins rolled out of sight.

Normally when things break in my house they stay that way for awhile. Or it just gets replaced because I hate fixing things. We all have our quirks—those things about us that seem contradictory. Like why do I clip coupons and save quarters and dollars here and there on certain things and yet easily spend extra cash when it comes to say…saving a few minutes of time in a check-out line or not having to return something?

For example, I crazy glue my shoes when they start falling apart, reuse lunch bags and tin foil, and buy generic brands of ice cream and medicine. But when it comes to fixing a hole in my ceiling, I put off fixing it myself because I hate doing maintenance. I will, eventually, but I hate it. Why am I discussing any of this? Because for the past nine months I have been updating my house. I don’t know why, since it’s an enormous amount of work. I’ve remodeled my kitchen, painted almost every wall and ceiling and piece of trim, updated light fixtures, reorganized my basement, cleaned up my yard, and bought a ginormous TV. But that dang hole just keeps getting bigger and I keep ignoring it.

Let me share with you what I’ve learned from all of this in case you get the remodeling bug.

 1.    Painting cabinets is a huge pain in the butt. Get someone to come and install new ones for you. Or paint them for you. If you’re going to do it on your own, definitely sand them really well and figure out a good painting system so you don’t get loads of drip marks all over them. Doing this during a snowpocalypse is a good idea. Lots of time to paint between shoveling.

2.    Don’t go through Home Depot for any project. See previous post. After you read previous post, just know that after they finally delivered my floors, they charged me again for them (and charged me for a whole box I didn’t need). And still it goes on…

3.    If you install nice countertops, get a new under-counter sink to go with it. Totally worth it.

4.    Check on your installers often—before and during the project. Many will most likely not speak English, won’t read the order or the directions before they start, and won’t make decisions on their own. They also (most, not all) don’t give a hoot if they damage your house, lawn, furniture, etc.

5.    Put a bunch of extra money in your remodeling budget. It will end up costing you more than you estimated and you’ll start seeing a lot of things that need to be done that you didn’t see before.

6.    Put a bunch of extra money into your budget for the repairs that will come up unexpectedly. It’s been really fun to spend all this money (that I planned and budgeted for) but not so fun when the A/C blew up, the dog needed an operation, the car hit 60K miles and needed everything fixed, a pipe burst, and the small hole in the ceiling became a big hole.

7.    Don’t put upturned paint can tops on the floor where you will be walking. Just saying.

8.    Don’t let the cats near upturned paint can tops.

9.    Have an extra bottle of wine ready for when your neighbors come over at 8 a.m. on Saturday to give you the “I’m going to kill you look” because the installers woke them up.

10. Call your parents and ask them to come down to help you fix the big hole and paint the final rooms.

 

Good.

 



Not good.

My niece Zenia inspired this post. The other day she quoted one of history’s greatest story tellers and writers on her Facebook status. Shakespeare is great, but I’m talking about the doctor. Seuss that is (and Ted to his friends). The man can weave a tale like no other. And so now I want to segue into what this post is about.

 Words. They help us communicate, tell stories, pass on knowledge, and express ourselves. They can inspire, tear down, comfort, deceive, uncover, and hurt. They can bring tears of joy and sorrow, and elicit emotional responses of all kinds. Some words are spoken, some written, some sung. Words are important, there’s no doubt about that.  

I like the written word. Reading takes me to places I can only go in my mind and my heart. God shared with us his truth through the written word. But here’s the thing. You can read the Bible from end to end, study it, discuss it, and analyze it. But faith is the only way you will be able to lift the veil to see the truth in the word.

Sometimes words aren’t adequate. Sometimes silence is golden. I’m one of those people that often speak their mind because we just can’t help it. I might cringe as soon as the words leave my mouth, but said they were and sorry can only come as a follow up. That’s another reason the written word is sometimes better. You can delete, white out, and start over before you hit that send/publish button. Just those few moments of time to stop yourself before uttering a mistake.  

But I digress. Sometimes words just can’t describe the beauty (or unfortunately the horror) that we see.

Revelation 8:1 says that, “When the Lamb broke open the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.” I’ve been silenced by the beauty of the earth and its people before, but I can’t imagine what could be so beautiful as to stun everyone for 30 minutes. I’m looking forward to that. But until then, whenever I find myself suffering or hurting, I’ll try to remember what Paul told us in Romans. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” It’s so comforting to know that God doesn’t need for us to speak or write to know how we feel.  

To pay homage to the literary geniuses that fill our lives with emotions, here are some beautiful words by poets on our side of heaven.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
Dr. Seuss
 

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
Dr. Seuss

“In my world, everyone’s a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!”
Dr. Seuss

“Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind.”
William Shakespeare

“My words fly up, my thoughts remain below: Words without thoughts never to heaven go.”
William Shakespeare

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”
Mark Twain

“The difference between the almost right word & the right word is really a large matter–it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
Mark Twain

“She’s mean and she mocks me. I’m pretty sure she has a mild crush on me.”
Tyler Crowe

“Everyone who loves me, raise your hand.”
Harmon Crowe

 With that being said (or written), I bid you adieu. Word Up.