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During one of my most recent late night TV vigils, I came across an infomercial. The advertisers were selling music—“Romancing the 70s” to be exact. I ended up dancing around a bit in the living room to tunes I grew up on. It got me to thinking about times back in the 70s and how fun life was (mostly because I was a pre-teen with no responsibilities).

Let’s see…there was skating at Spinning Wheels, sitting in the car with Mom waiting for gas, buying 45s for a buck fifty, paying 15% interest on the mortgage (my parents nightmare, not mine, thankfully), watching American Bandstand, and wearing hideous clothes.

I had to laugh when the announcer on the commercial mentioned a group called Tony Orlando and Dawn. And do you recall that fun duo, the Captain and Tennille? I also remember singing loudly to Debbie Boon—“You light up my life.” But I think my favorite song had to be “Delta Dawn.” I once missed a class in college and my professor (think small southern college) said to me during the next class, “Daaaahhwn. It’s so nahce to see you.” He then proceeded to sing “Delta Dawn” to me in front of the entire class. Needless to say, (but I’ll say it anyway), I did not miss that class again.

And let’s not forget an important year in the 70s decade, 1976, our nation’s bicentennial (and coincidentally they had some swine flu propaganda going on then. Check it out on YouTube). We went from ringing the liberty bell to the tune of drums and muskets in 1776 to wearing bell bottom pants to the tune of electric keyboards and “Muskrat Love” in 1976.

Ahhhhh, memories, and faded roses from days gone by…

I live in northern Virginia and we have our own brand of road rage here. It happens often and is a regular part of our lives. Just a few short miles away is the famous mixing bowl. It’s the confluence of three major highways. I’ll give VDOT some props on fixing it up these past years. I used to have to perform some Evil Knievel type moves to get onto 395 north.

When I was working (oh so long ago), I used to take breaks once and awhile and walk outside near the corner of Duke St. and Washington St. in old town Alexandria. This intersection is host to lots of near and actual accidents, mad drivers, and crazy people. Seriously—to any law enforcement official reading this—you should just go camp out there and you’ll get a year’s worth of ticket quotas in a matter of days.

But since I’m not there anymore, I’m getting glimpses of bad driving on other roads and thought I’d share my list of driving related pet peeves. 

10. Not signaling.
Hello! It’s me, Dawn, the gal behind you who can’t read your mind but who would like to have a little notice that you’re turning or switching lanes so I can oh, I don’t know, apply the breaks a bit sooner or maybe change lanes myself. What’s that? The lever for signaling is too far from your index finger and you’d have to extend that finger in order to push it up or down? Gee, that’s too bad, precious.

9. Pulling out onto a road right in front of another car and then driving really slowly in front of them.
This is especially offensive when there is no traffic behind the car that is already on the road. Try waiting an extra ten seconds and pull out after that car—nice and slow.

8. Getting really distracted by your kids, cell phones, pets, etc.
If you can’t keep your eyes and your focus on the road, then pull over and deal with the problem, don’t do it in the lane next to me going 50 miles per hour.

7. Sticking your middle finger out, using foul language, obnoxiously honking your horn, speeding up and tailgating, or any other immature road rage behavior.

6. Staying in the left lane when you aren’t passing.
The left lane is for passing folks. You’re forgiven if you have to make a left turn soon, but generally speaking, get out of the way if you’re not.

5.  Motorcycles (or any other vehicle) driving way to fast, in and out of traffic, basically scaring the crap out of everyone on the road.
If you really feel the need to drive like that, go to a race track. There is nothing that important to get to that you have to endanger other people. (Except if you’re Jack Bauer.)

4. Parking in someone else’s (my) driveway.
Those of you who live in nice single family homes are probably thinking this would be cause to call the police or a tow truck. Those of us in townhomes and apartments with small driveways are subject to the lazy neighbor or their friends who don’t want to park in one of the public spaces a few yards away. If you want Grendel to start peeing on your flowers and grass, just block me in one more time. This also holds true for people who park in spots marked reserved.

3. Reading while driving.
I’m not talking about sneaking a peek at a map. I’m talking about having the latest Grisham novel open next to the steering wheel. If you think I’m kidding, then hold on to your britches. I’ve seen this happen more than once. How dumb do you have to be to think that’s okay?

2. Tailgating.
This has to be one of the most obnoxious and dangerous behaviors of stupid car drivers. I can’t say enough about how dumb and irresponsible this is.

1. Pedestrians who cross against the light.
This isn’t driving behavior but it affects those of us in the cars. It’s incredibly annoying, disrespectful, and dangerous to walk through intersections against the light—or when you know the light is turning and you’ll be in the intersection when it’s red. And if you aren’t crossing at a light then double shame on you. You may think it’s okay for you to just run across and no one will care. Well I’ve got news for you. We do care. Rush hour is a nightmare in the DC metro area. We don’t need you causing five cars to miss the light because you can’t wait your turn. We also don’t need to slam on the breaks to avoid hitting you because we are paying attention to traffic and not expecting a person to be running in front of us. Just because you aren’t in a car doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay attention to traffic signals (and that goes for you bike riders, too).

If any of these items comes as a shock to you as being wrong or offensive, then I implore you to visit your local DMV and take a new driving test. Either that or stay out of my neighborhood please. And for you out of towners visiting DC, think of the beltway as a watch with north being 12 o’clock and south being 6 o’clock. The inner loop runs clockwise and the outer loop runs counterclockwise. And the speed limit is actually 65 and not what those pesky signs say.

Stuck in the honey jar.

Stuck in the honey jar.

This post has no real purpose except maybe to point out the need for everyone to be a bit silly from time to time. Now you don’t have to stick your head in a hole and get stuck in the proverbial pooh honey jar, but try to take a few minutes out of each day to see the joy and beauty in life. And if you do decide to take some risks and get silly, you may just find some honey, a bone, or treats. Or in human dreams it may be something like love, employment, children, health, or some kind of special joy that’s custom made just for you.

October is officially adopt-a-dog month, but doesn’t this picture of Grendel’s friend Keelee just want to make you go out and get a companion of your own right now? (Or maybe not.) Visit Petfinder and take home a fur ball of your own to love!

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