From the Observation Deck

I love spending time with my family. I always seem to get good fodder for this blog. My mom came up from her winter stay in Florida to visit the kids so I went up to my brother’s house for the day to see everyone. The fun part of visiting the kids is the verbal game of dodge ball where I avoid weird and uncomfortable questions and comments.

After arriving, my brother Greg, my mom, and my nephew and I take Grendel for a walk. As Greg and I were talking, Tyler, my nine-year old nephew asks me, “Aunt Dawn, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I want to ask you a question. Why aren’t you married? I’m just asking because I want an Uncle.” I redirected the conversation and thought I’d managed to sufficiently blow that one off until he asked again later. I told him that a) he already has an Uncle—his mother’s brother, and b) if I had a husband, said husband would keep all the Wii games that I buy for Tyler. That was the end of that discussion.

Then later, when we were in the car, Tyler says, “Why are there suspicious people dressed in dark clothing like Muslims, at Niagara Falls?” Don’t know where that one came from but I’m sure those deep thoughts are a result of some enlightened view of the world. Or not.

My other nephew, Harmon, always manages to provide some zingers. When he was younger he told me that he “was cute because he was the littlest.” And he once said to his whole family, “everyone who loves me, raise your hand.” That is officially my favorite line ever and I tease him about it relentlessly.

Harmon’s latest obsession is with guns. It used to be light sabers but we’ve moved on to a different form of violence. While eating lunch at Subway, a police officer came in. Harmon’s face lit up when he saw the cop’s gun. I encouraged Harmon to go talk to him. When we asked Harmon what he would say to the cop, he replied, “I’ll tell him I’m a big fan and I love your gun.”

God makes them cute and inquisitive to keep us on our toes. So, what was the funniest thing your kid ever said?

I don’t know what the heck the title of this post means but it sounds funny. When first read it seems silly. Just like the grownups running our government. Yes boys and girls it’s that time again. It’s trash the government time!

I just looooooove talking about waste. Especially government waste. And I don’t mean Congress (this time). I know it’s kind of cliché to complain about the stupidity of government. I mean, in a sense, that’s pretty much a wasteful activity in itself. But I’m going to do it anyway. Here are some examples I’ve seen in recent months.

The Office of Thrift Supervision

The other day I was in DC and drove past the Office of Thrift Supervision. After laughing at the sheer audacity of the government to create an office with the name “thrift” in it, I looked at the building and shook my head in amazement. There were at least five different signs that labeled the building the office of thrift supervision. Not exactly thrifty of them.  

The Census

Ahhhh, the census. I just got a letter in the mail telling me to be on the lookout for the census letter. Seriously? Is the government trying to keep the evil post office alive by supplying it with unnecessary mail? Why not just send the census. And then send another copy of it out if you feel that will help with response. Or how about doing this online?

Government Consultants

My company is currently working with a government entity. I’ll skip the headaches of the layers of people there and the lack of logic that runs rampant in their hallways. Anyway, I went with our designer and president to a meeting with them. After we got out I asked my president who the woman was in the meeting who wasn’t with the government entity. She told me this woman (and the guy on the phone) work for a company that was managing our relationship with the government entity. You’ve got to be kidding me. Like we can’t email and call the government entity directly and talk to them without a needless middle man? I want a job where I do nothing but get paid lots of dough for passing information back and forth.

Hiring Practices

Last summer I applied for a job with HUD. They interviewed 75 people. Really? They couldn’t skim the list a bit?

I could go on and on and on and on. Sorry for being repetitive. It may seem wasteful—except when used for emphasis. Or when I do it. I’m constantly shocked at the arrogance of our elected officials. The extras they get, the raises they give themselves when their constituents are losing their jobs, and their pride. They would rather put forth bad legislation than admit that they couldn’t find a solution. Got news for you Mr. President. I don’t want you shoving your crap at me just because you want to save face. You, Congress, and the fat, wasteful government machine need to rethink your purpose. You need a bold fresh start to policies and practices. A clean sweep. I know, you can start by creating the office of waste management. Oops. That’s already in place. It’s oval in shape, I believe.

Okay, that’s enough for now. I’m off to waste time watching TV.

To assemble four years from now.

I officially love the Canadians. At the opening ceremony of the Olympics there was a glitch in the torch lighting. So the Canadians made fun of it all by “fixing” it at the closing ceremony. Anyone who can laugh at themselves and turn human error into something funny to celebrate is good in my eyes. The Canadians have shown themselves to be… well… themselves. Good natured, fun, welcoming, lovely people. Thanks Canada for giving us such a wonderful two weeks. As my friends and neighbors have been saying. “We’ve so enjoyed watching the Olympics. Even more than usual. We’re going to miss watching it.”

Before the games started some people were wondering how they were going to top the spectacle the Chinese gave us. Well, as marvelous as that show was, I guess it goes to show that people everywhere are beautiful and talented. We can appreciate people for many different reasons.

And we can appreciate the Canadians for their sense of humor. Seriously, who else but the Canadians would have giant inflatable beavers and moose? And how about the old table-top hockey game with magnets—awesome. It was campy and perfect and the fake antlers for the audience was icing on the cake.

The Olympics give us a look at various cultures around the world. And it’s always lovely. The Olympics is like Christmas in a way. You get that feeling of peace and goodwill. Here we are—humans from different backgrounds, religions, beliefs—all competing peacefully. It shows that we can all get together and appreciate each other and compete without guns and violence. It’s beautiful and it’s one of the many reasons I love the Olympics.

With glowing hearts. That’s what it’s all about.

Congratulations to all the athletes, coaches, parents, trainers, volunteers, officials, and everyone who took part in putting the show on. You did a great job and should be proud of yourselves. Can’t wait ‘til the 2012 games in London!