September 20, 2009

The sun’ll come out tomorrow.

Posted by Grendel's Mother under Uncategorized
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Do you ever find yourself thinking; man I’m having such a bad day? Or this has been such a bad week? I do. Especially now that I’m out of work. I know that most of the world is living harder than I am and God has blessed me and provided for me. But still, sometimes it’s hard to not feel sorry for myself.

The other day, just as I was having a little pity party, I saw some poor schmuck walking along the side of the highway. Over his shoulder he was carrying the tailgate of his pickup truck that had fallen off down the road. That’s the kind of thing that makes you say, thank God I’m not that dude.

A bad day about to get worse

A bad day about to get worse

And as I was searching for something enlightening to share with you regarding bad days, I found a web site that shows us that even those rich, beautiful stars have bad days, too. So next time you look in the mirror and are upset about loose skin, extra weight, limp hair (or no hair), then take a look at this and know that if you had someone doing your makeup, hair, and wardrobe everyday, you’d look fit for the screen, too.

And if you’re not around a computer you could just thank God that part of your car is not lying on route 50. So just hang on ‘till tomorrow—and remember, life is good.

Life is good. Especially with a Grendel dog to share it with.

Life is good. Especially with a Grendel dog to share it with.

 

September 18, 2009

A job seeker’s dream.

Posted by Grendel's Mother under Editing, unemployment
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I’ve come across a lot of random job postings under the search for marketing positions. For example, parking director, space management specialist—that’s cubicle stuff, and drywall inspector. I’ve even had some suspicious offers over the phone. But this e-mail that I received the other day has to take the cake.

Have you ever done one of those puzzles in a magazine where you have to pick out the 10 or more things that are wrong in a picture? Well I’ve got an e-mail for you to read and you can play the game of finding all the wrong things about it. It’s so pathetic I don’t even have to give you the answers.

So without further ado, here is the content of said e-mail exactly as it was sent to me.

Hello competitor,

We are glad to report you that in our stable company, the vacancy of transaction manager is opened. The world is smashed by a crisis, people lose their workplaces, and many companies are being closed. Our company offers a product in the field of services; therefore the demand on our suggestions remains even in so difficult period for the world economy.

The followings factors are required from you:
– industriousness;
– efficiency;
– to be the habitant of the USA;
– command aspiring to success;
– to have sure vital position;
– to have initial PC skills
– you must be more senior than 21.

NO INVESTMENTS FROM YOU ARE REQUIRED, you will be fully acquainted and trained for discharging of your duties. We need valuable staff. We will teach even a janitor to be a businessman!

Do not lose the chance of fully legal earnings with a dynamically developing company. We will help you to build a career which you always dreamed about. Your chance is waiting for you.

We wait for your resumes to the address imbibeNgGriffin@gmail.com of our department of personnel.

With kind regards,

—————————————–

 

Well Mr. or Ms. imbibeNgGriffin, I thank you for the kind offer—whatever it is that you are so not eloquently trying to communicate—but I’m not sure I have command aspiring to success. So I guess I don’t qualify. Good luck finding the habitant of the USA that has sure vital position.

 

September 15, 2009

Things I found on the beach.

Posted by Grendel's Mother under beach
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Have you ever heard the saying “what the cat dragged in?” I’d like to play a game called, “what the waves rolled in.” Over the past two weeks I’ve noticed some extensive changes in the shape of the beach and the size of the waves. Change is often stressful, but the softness of the sand and the sound of the waves is so soothing. But back to the game.

Lately the waves have been big and the tide high, bringing all sorts of things to shore. As Grendel and I took our strolls along the beach, I saw many random items. Here are a few I’ve seen lately.

  • A foot long orange piece of nylon rope frayed at ends.
  • An enormous jellyfish about a foot plus in diameter.
  • A small spider crab. (I once saw a big one and thought it looked like a prehistoric monster. That one kept me out of the water for quite some time.)
  • A piece of wood that matches the steps on my stairs. Yes, I took it.
  • An inflatable turtle. Honestly, more turtles. Can’t get away from them.
  • Shells, sand, and horseshoe crabs.
  • A pole with buoy attached.
  • A sink hole that buried my legs to my knees. Not an item or living thing but it freaked me out and I wanted to tell you about it.
  • An empty plastic juice bottle.

There were no Hollywood letters from someone looking for rescue. No treasure chest of gold. Just God’s creations and man’s trash. What strange items have you seen washed up on shore?

 

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