January 6, 2013

One giant leap for Dawn.

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No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. Philippians 3:13

Pastor Josh read this passage this morning and I thought it was very fitting. You see, last year totally stank. I know for some of you it was a glorious year full of happiness and success and I say with all sincerity that I’m happy for you. But with the passing of my brother who had become a very close friend of mine, it was the worst year of my life. And it kept getting worse and worse as the year dragged on.

So with the changing of calendars and mark of time, we get to mentally draw a line and say enough! Do over, start over, fresh beginnings, whatever you want to call it. Forget the past, forgive, and move on.

My struggles over the past two years with injuries, weight gain, more injuries, grief, more grief, and other assorted ca-ca have reached a nadir. I need to get aligned spiritually, mentally, and physically with what’s right and what’s important. And to do that I’m joining many of my fellow NCC friends in a Daniel fast.

What’ a Daniel fast you ask? Basically it’s eating nothing but fruits, vegetables, nuts, and water. Things that come from seeds. Nothing processed, no sugar or artificial sweeteners, no fun. For you vegans, this may not be a big deal. For me—well let’s just say kicking a 20-year smoking habit was a walk in the park compared to this.

The purpose of fasting is not to lose weight (but I’m praying that I do), but rather to get closer to God. Only with God’s help can I accomplish this. Only by focusing on Him will I be able to reset the do-over buttons. I may not find the path I’m looking for—you know, the one that tells you what you should be doing with your life—but at least I’ll start walking again and hopefully in the right direction.

Tomorrow is day one. I am finishing off the last of the ice cream and wine tonight. I think I may miss my morning diet coke and green tea right off the bat, but I’m going to pray that through the headaches, feelings of hunger, cravings for bread and cheese, and the desire to just down some sugar straight from the bag, I resist temptation. I’m going to ask God to help me resist through the pain and struggle. I’ll take the pain; I just need His help locking the fridge door. And I could use your prayers too.

I usually don’t announce things like this because if I fail (which the odds are pretty good I will), then I wouldn’t have to admit that to the world. But I figure maybe writing about the experience and hopefully getting some feedback and ideas from you readers, I’ll have a small chance at making it.

I’d like to keep my mind on the needs of others through this ten day fast. So please tell me what you are dreaming for in this New Year and let me pray for you. Okay, I’m off to my last meal of meat for awhile. Have a great 2013!

 

August 22, 2012

Hello lampost. What’cha knowin?

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One of the things I find fascinating about God is how he communicates with me. There are times when all around me I see and hear messages that I feel come from Him—sometimes through people I know, sometimes through strangers, sometimes on a billboard, and of course, through the Word. I know there are skeptics out there and yes, I could be completely wrong about what I am interpreting but I do know that He is always right and I believe He is trying to talk to me and comfort me.

So when I do stop all the worry and stop filling my head and life with useless things, I can sometimes get a clue or maybe just a feeling of support and encouragement. Like today. I’m reading facebook and see a post from my pastor, Mark Batterson, who wrote about slowing down in our fast-paced society. I loved the scripture he posted—so relevant to what I need right now. “Be still and know that I am God.” –Psalm 46:10. Pastor Mark says, “If you’re working too much and not taking a Sabbath, it probably means you’re trying to play God.” Yup, guilty. Not that I’m working too hard but being too busy and getting stuck in that stress loop inside my head means I’m not listening or giving my problems over to God and therefore wallowing in worry.

So a few moments after reading that post, I move on to the “daily message from God” app on facebook. I love to read it because it always seems like it’s very relevant to what I need to hear at that moment. Today’s message read, “On this day of your life, Dawn, we believe God wants you to know … that when whispers do not get your attention, bricks will fly your way. Don’t speed through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention. Slow down and be present.”

Hmmm. Two messages within the hour telling me to slow down and be still. You’d think I would have learned how to do that from my cats. They have the amazing capacity to remain still for hours on end. Maybe that’s why they seem so content. In any case, my point is, I think it’s one of those things that if you’re a believer, you can see the wonderful ways God chooses to communicate his love for us. He’s a hipster, our heavenly Dad. He invented the Internet and social media and uses them just like the ancient people used stone tablets and papyrus. Maybe He wants me to use foursquare so  I stop and mark where I am and look around at my surroundings instead of zoning out. Or maybe I should turn off my iPhone altogether and have a real conversation with the people around me. Being me, that is terrifying unless they are friends, so that particular activity will take some work.

Either way, I’m pausing now to write this. And I think I’ll put on a smile and tell myself that He is in control until I calm down and believe it. Looks like a beautiful day out today! Enjoy it (and then tweet a nice photo so we can share in your fun.)

P.S. If you’re wondering about the title of this post and not sure why I used it for this topic, then listen to the song lyrics in this video of The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy).

And speaking of social media…one of my favorite sites, I can has cheezburger, or LOL cats, now offers users the ability to create their own pages. So naturally I have. Visit my new cheezburger page at http://grendelsmom.cheezburger.com/.

 

June 14, 2012

Moving mountains.

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It’s been hard to write lately. When you are dealing with something bad in your life whether it’s the loss of a loved one, sickness, heartbreak, financial distress, or the hordes of maladies that seem to strike people of all ages, races, religions, it feels like time slows down. I guess that cliché that time flies when you’re having fun has a polar effect in the universe.

Maybe God gives us that time so we don’t hurry into bad choices or so that we can really lean on Him for support. He wants us to remember Him in all things and when we start focusing on Him and His Word that’s when He starts to work the healing process and the clock starts up again—a new day.

Gifts from the Father

God has given me many gifts and they have been gratefully received and cherished—more so in the past three months than ever before. Those gifts are His Word, His love, and the people He has placed in my life. My family and my friends. He also gave me Grendel and the cats to keep me company and I thank Him for the creatures of the world as well.

“When we consider the blessings of God—the gifts that add beauty and joy to our lives, that enable us to keep going through stretches of boredom and even suffering—friendship is very near the top.” —Donald W. McCullough, Mastering Personal Growth

But I want to just talk for a moment about friends and trust and faith. My last entry was an outpouring of grief. Yikes, such a public display of my hurt and feelings—so embarrassing. But I needed it and God helped me by sending some peeps to listen to my tear-soaked memories of Greg and my concerns about his kids and their grief. I was comforted by so many loving and caring people—including my parents who were also hurting. What a blessing to have such wonderful parents and friends and family.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9–12

Doubt and Hope

I also want to say to anyone who is also hurting and not sure about their prayers or what God is doing—please, I beg you, please do not lose faith. It hurts, I know. We don’t understand why our loved ones have to be sick or hurt or why we have to go through trials and pain. There are some things that will take time and some things that will have to wait until we join our Father in heaven. The answers will be there, just have faith. God is for us. The hurts we feel come from man-made sin, not God. God sends us friends and family to help us through the tough times and He wants us to come to him and tell him our feelings and ask Him for His help. He loves you and He loves me.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” John 14:1-2

I found this wonderful article online by a guy named Jack Zavada. He discusses prayer and how sometimes if feels like our prayers aren’t being answered and it can be frustrating. He says we need to submit and trust God—hopefully before we hit rock bottom. It’s good reading—check it out: The Turning Point in Prayer.

There is this one scripture passage that always had me a bit, well, confused. Like—really? I can actually move a mountain if I really believe? Not sure about that one.

“Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.“ Mark 11:23

But then I realized that the word ‘mountain’ doesn’t have to be taken literally. It can mean a massive huge obstacle or problem or hurt or anything that is keeping you paralyzed and in pain. If you really put your heart to God and believe that He will take care of you better than you can ever do on your own—the mountain will move.

His Love Takes on Many Forms

I know He loves me because He has created so much beauty in the world around me. In the smile of my nieces and nephews, in the towering mountains, in the crystal blue lakes, in the saliva-dripping Grendel dog, in the purr of my cat, in the laughs of my friends, in the arms of my mother and father, in the giggle of the three-year old neighbor, in the soft grass, in the rain and sun, and in the loving words He has given us to guide us in all things.

Where You Go, I Will Go.

Thank you God. Thank you friends. Thank you all my “Ruths” out there who have been so loving and supportive. And to all my dear loved ones—in your own troubled thoughts and feelings, please don’t give up hope. Keep your faith. Give up your pain and control to God—He is better equipped to handle it. And love each other. And let me be there for you when you need someone. You are my people.

So in honor of my brother who was an amazing father, I will conclude this post with some thoughts from our heavenly Father as we near Father’s Day.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-19

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. “ Romans 15:13

“For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12

 

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