Animals


Pet owners will understand when I say that there is a joy to having furry companions around the house. They certainly provide me with plenty of laughs and comfort. I just got two little babies and last night when they were running around like they just had a catnip burger with catnip sauce and extra catnip catsup on the bun, I pet my 17 year old cat and was thankful for her mild, “whatever” behavior.

That is until this afternoon. As I sat at the kitchen table reading my emails, I noticed her by the door with something in her mouth. Around here, that could be anything at the moment–but oh, no–it was moving. Crap. I’ve been trying to train them to get the big ugly spiders that get in, but this thing had a long tail. Oh yeah, that salamander I saw on the front step earlier. Say adios sally dude, because even at 17 my girl has got hunting skills that would shame the tigers in Africa I’m going to see next month.

As I tried to move her out of the house to feast on said salamander, she got nervous and ended up biting down. Good thing it was outside because both ends kept moving. Gross. But a great diet plan. No way am I going to have lunch now.

So, you take the good with the gross. My new little cuddle bug Fergus and his brother Gunnar are practicing their hunting skills on Grendel’s happy tail. Here’s to a rodent and salamander free home!

Salamander cheezburger is yum!

Salamander cheezburger is yum!

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Bone mine!

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The warriors Fergus and Gunnar clash in an epic battle.

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I protect you kitteh.

cuddle bug with the Grendel dog

cuddle bug with the Grendel dog

Hey kittehs! Iz me, Grendel dog.
Hey kittehs! Iz me, Grendel dog.

My baby girl kitty cat is missing. I don’t know where she is or if she’s even alive. Some of you may not understand the love and bond you can feel with an animal, but if you do, you know that our little furry companions are part of our families. And when they are lost, it’s a BIG deal.

My little Karma got out of the house last weekend and instead of jumping over to my neighbor’s deck for an hour to sunbathe and stare at their dog through the safety of the glass window, she got lost and has not returned. I don’t know if Greg the owl got her, or if she got hurt in a fight and crawled somewhere to die, or if some kind-hearted person took her in and is feeding her. What I do know is that even with my other pets around, my house feels empty and I miss her very, very much.

For 15 years Karma has made me mad with her scratching up my paperwork, messed up my computer by sitting on it, stuck her paw in my water glass, meowed in my ear when I was sleeping, punched out the dog she resents, and thrown up in my bed. But, over the course of the last horrible year as I cried and cried over the loss of my family, she comforted me. Is she gone for good? I don’t know. It’s like Schrödinger’s cat. (Look it up if you’re not a Big Bang Theory fan or a physicist.)

What I really was moved to write about today is the profound support and help I’ve been getting from my friends and neighbors. My HOA board sent out a blast email for me to alert neighbors about Karma. Other neighbors have physically gone out looking for her and talked to their neighbors to see if they’ve seen anything. I’ve gotten half a dozen phones calls and lots of prayers and support from work colleagues and other friends.

Ten years ago when I moved into this house I thought I’d be here maybe five years then would go on to bigger and nicer digs. Well, obviously life and the economy got in the way of that. And I’m glad. I’ve refinanced twice and am finally fixing up the place because (and I’m just saying God—don’t make this a test or anything) I’m staying. I’ve never lived around such nice, friendly, caring people before. As I get to know more and more of my neighbors (the place is a townhome community with about 500 units), the more I am amazed at what a great place this is and it’s all because of the people here. I don’t know what the magic formula is. We are a mixed bag of races, religions, and ages. There are singles, families, blue and white collar workers, and long-and short-term transplants and locals. Of course there are occasionally the disagreements and issues here and there but I have to give a shout out to my peeps in Amberleigh—there’s lots of “good Karma” in the hood.

So, Karma is still missing and in between my bouts of tears I am getting by because of the amazing and wonderful caring support of my neighborhood family. How blessed am I? Well, God is putting me through some trials this year but he’s also giving me a great support system to survive the storm.

Oh, and if you see my baby, please give me a shout.

Karma, tuxedo cat missing since March 16.

Karma, tuxedo cat missing since March 16.

Karma, sweet kitty hanging on the neighbors deck.

Karma, sweet kitty hanging on the neighbors deck.

Karma boxing with the Grendel dog.

Karma boxing with the Grendel dog.

Karma on her throne. Have cushion, will sleep. Anywhere.

Karma on her throne. Have cushion, will sleep. Anywhere.

I am Santa Lab. And here is my Christmas list for my mom. I let her put this thing on me because, you know, she’s my mom. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories about her. Anyway, this is what I want for Christmas.

  1. Bonesanta lab
  2. Bone with marrow
  3. Peanut-flavored bone
  4. Chew toy shaped like the cat. You know…the one who hides behind the post and then slaps me when I come up the stairs..yeah that one.
  5. Uhmmm
  6. Bone
  7. New home for aforementioned cat.
  8. Meat flavored treats
  9. Actual meat
  10. Bone

Mommy asked the cat what she wanted and this is how it went.

Mommy: Hey kitty, can you make out a list of what you want for Christmas?

Cat: First. No. I can’t. I can’t write and you know that. And I wouldn’t, even if I could. Why should I wait for some stinkin holiday to get treats from you? You know I can just jump on top of the fridge and knock over the can myself. But then that stupid dumb dog you brought home would just eat it all. You want to know what I want? Get rid of it. He stinks, he’s always knocking things over with that stupid happy tail, and he takes up all the room on the couch. Now stop bothering me during my mid evening nap. When I want you to pet me I’ll come within three feet of you and you can reach out arms length and rub my chin. Now be a good human and fetch me some cat nip, some paper to rip up, a glass of your latest filtered water, and the choice cuts of meat that dumb dog wanted on his list.

Mommy: I know you love me.

Cat: Only because I let you think that.

Well that’s the pre-holiday planning in our house. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

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